Ponder and Worry
by PrimeEmily135
Summary: Prime has just failed to bring the relic back from Antarctica and is worried how his team will respond to his failure. Slight OptimusXArcee. One-Shot!


**Hey people! Sorry, I just couldn't help but write this one-shot after watching the newest episode of Transformers Prime "Triangulation". Just a little bit of what Optimus was thinking after his battle with Dreadwing and StarScream… A little OptimusXArcee…my first one-shot so please don't kill me with insults? Hope you like it… **

**Oh yeah, I do not own Transformers Prime. **

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Optimus watched as Dreadwing soared away into the subtle aurora. "So be it Dreadwing…" he said regretfully.

He stayed where he was, in the snow and cold, for a few moments watching the southern light display in the sky. It was a beauty he had never seen on any other planet. Taking a steadying breath, he tried to relax for just a moment. He tried to take in everything in.

"Rafael, I need a bridge." He contacted base.

"Okay, sending the ground-bridge…" Came the boy's static filled response.

The swirling green and blue vortex appeared a few yards away but he suddenly hesitated to return. How could he come back empty hand? How could he face his team when he had failed? He suddenly thought about what he hadn't for a long time: his image. His reputation was wavering as it was, with him having amnesia and helping the Decepticons in the first place.

He shook himself. He would think about such things in the privacy of his own quarters, where it was less depressing and frankly (much like StarScream's opinion) he didn't like the cold. After his and Arcee's trip to the Arctic he had been a little wary of the cold's harsh affects.

Arcee.

What would she think of his failure? He lost himself to his thoughts once again, pausing in his stride just in front of the bridge. Would she see him as incapable as a leader, because he couldn't bring success back from a mission? What would she say? Would she say _anything_?

"Optimus! The bridge is open!" he heard Raf com to him.

"I am coming Rafael…" he responded, taking his first step into the swirling mass of color.

A few seconds later, he emerged from the portal into the "Living room" of the base. When he looked around, he saw that Bumblebee and Arcee were already back. Bee seemed to be telling Raf a story, using hand motions and beeps and whirls to illustrate what had occurred. Jack was sitting on the couch looking thoroughly exhausted, and Miko was helping Bee with his story.

Looking around again, he saw Arcee in the medical wing of the room with a strange piece of equipment in her servos as she sat on one of the examination beds. _A phase shifter_. He realized what it was. _So they were successful…_ He saw her look up at him and stand up. Quickly ducking his head, he started down the hallway before she could ask him anything.

He ignored the confused looks of everyone and passed them all into the recharge wing, where they all had personal rooms. At a security checkpoint, he punched in the code to his room and the door unlocked. Quickly entering, he locked it behind him.

His optics traveled around the grey walled room, resting upon his recharge berth. He was tired. Tired and frustrated, which were not good combinations for a Prime. Primes were never supposed to show weakness. He should act no different! He shouldn't succumb to his emotions!

With a sigh, he sat down on the gel padded bed and rested his head in his servos. Maybe he was recharge deprived? It would explain why his head wasn't working right… Ever since the incident with his amnesia he couldn't rest well, he was unsure of everything he did, and he felt cowardly. All of those things were very un-Prime like…

He groaned in frustration, wanting to scream his frustrations. _Maybe I am a failure. It would explain why everything I do seems to end in a mess! This whole war is my fault! If I had only kept my thoughts to myself, if I had only ignored Megatron's words… a lot of lives would have been spared… Cybertron would still be inhabitable and I would never have become Prime_. He sighed, laying back on his bed tiredly. Everything he thought, he knew was wrong. The war would have come around in the end the only difference was that he wouldn't have been there to stop Megatron's rule of destruction in every part of the galaxy.

There was a soft knock at his door, and he cringed behind his battle mask that he had never retracted.

"Optimus, are you in there?" Arcee's voice was quiet and gentle.

He groaned again, her voice would be the end of him. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. Even when she was angry, it was filled with such passion he swore the original Primes would have fallen and worshiped the ground she walked on.

Collecting himself a little, he stood up again. "Come in Arcee." He said calmly, turning his back to the door and pretending to look at some files on his desk. He heard the door open, and quietly shut again. Arcee's footsteps were hardly more than a whisper in the room as she approached slowly.

"Optimus, are you alright?"

He refused to look down at her. He refused to look into her gorgeous blue optics that made him want to cry out in agony every time he realized that _they_ could never be…

"Optimus…"

He felt her touch his servo with her much smaller one, and automatically looked down at her. She was looking at him with concern, and it was only then that he realized that his optics were lubricating. He tried to look away to hide his shame but her optics kept his gaze petrified.

"What happened? What's wrong?" her worried stare made him feel guiltier and humiliatingly stupid more than anything else.

He tore his gaze away and forced himself to regain control over his emotions. Luckily he hadn't retracted his face plate yet. "Nothing is wrong Arcee. I am merely…pondering."

"Pondering what?" she asked, not buying his excuse for a millisecond.

He sighed, accidentally confirming that he was distressed. If Arcee hadn't been concerned, he swore she would've smirked at him. "Nothing is _wrong_ per say, Arcee… I just feel that nothing is _right_ either. -But I will not burden you with my troubles." He said quickly, telling that to himself more than her.

She sat down on the edge of his berth, crossing her arms stubbornly. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." She watched him for a moment, but then let her gaze travel around the room. "So you weren't able to retrieve the relic?"

That broke him. He turned away from her and pounded his fist against the wall with an uncharacteristic yell of frustration. "No… I was not _able_ to retrieve it!" he growled at the dent in the wall, but noted that Arcee had jumped up in surprise at his outburst.

He closed his optics, taking a breath through his cooling system to calm himself. "I apologize…" he said quietly, beating himself up mentally for disgracing the title of Prime yet again. "Have the others reported back yet?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No they haven't."

"Good." He sat down and buried his face in his servos to hide his eyes from her. "Arcee, do you find me a failure?" he listened for her response, but when none came he continued. "I thought so… I have been misjudging of a lot of things since my incident, and many times before. I am really not befitting to be your leader in my current state of mind."

"Orion…" he felt her stroke his shoulder. "You're not a failure. You're just feeling overwhelmed, and you know it. We've all had times like this and you were the one to pull us through. You're a great leader and an even greater friend. You are strong and brave, but even the best of us can have a bad string of luck. Maybe, after all this time of you being there for us, _I_ can be here for you."

He let it all process before answering, and he realized that she had called him Orion and not Optimus. "Thank-you Arcee, you too are a truly great friend. I-" he stopped, suddenly recalling something StarScream had said back in the Antarctic.

He turned to look at her. "Arcee, do you find my pontificating annoying?" he was genuinely curious.

Arcee looked at him stunned by his sudden change, and then laughed. "No Optimus, I don't find your constant preaching to be annoying." She pulled herself up to be optic level with him. "I think it makes you sound smart and kind, and I like it…" she leaned towards him, hesitated for a moment, then kissed him just above his optic. "Get some rest." She said as she walked to the door. "You of all people have earned it." with one last smile to him, the door shut behind her.

Optimus stared at the door for a moment. He knew he should get some rest, but all he could think of was how her lips felt against his metallic face…

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**Well? You like? I hope so! :) this took me a good two\three hours to write… and for those who are reading my Mario story "All is Fair in Love and War" I will hopefully have another chapter up soon.**

**Anyways, if you guys like this let me know by PM or Review and I might just write some more one shots :) **


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